*** Cyanotypes never fade. This is the most permanent photograph you can ever make aside from Carbon prints. So when I had the chance to do one, I knew that whatever image I was going to make, my mother should be in it.
it burned. it burned so bright it would blind you. but i needed to look. to look and stare for hours. for days. for weeks. i looked at it without blinking for 83 years. for 83 years it's the only thing i saw. but on that day, that day when my life changed, i saw something else. on the corner of my eye, i saw it. i saw it and i knew. the light i was staring at for 83 years was nothing, nothing but the sun.
and so i let the lids rest, wept in silence and never opened my eyes again.
strange imaginings, that's what they all are. thoughts of a lunatic, half afloat, half asleep. think of them as stories, take them for real, it doesn't matter. what's the difference anyway? will they provoke thoughts as insane, as far-fetched--as true to what one engages with in the everyday? who knows, maybe i'm not as crazy as i think, afterall.